Welcoming a new family member is not always easy. Naturally, you want that person to feel well received and included. However, depending on the role that new person takes in the family things may be more complicated than they seem. This could be the case for new stepparents.
Because one of the parents has established a serious relationship with someone, one of the next urgent steps to take will be to find the right balance and boundaries between stepson or stepdaughter and stepparent.
Things can go very well when you take your time to know each other and learn to know what your place in each other’s life is. However, things are not always easy because one of you can get jealous of the other, and unnecessary competition may arise.
If you found yourself in a situation where your stepmom is jealous you will need to find ways to deal with it if she has made it obvious that she won’t change her behavior. So here are a few steps to help!
5 steps to deal with a jealous stepmom:
1- Keep your interactions to a minimum:
This is probably the advice you have heard of the most when it comes to dealing with someone who is not willing to have a good relationship with you but you still need, time together occasionally in this case as the person in question is a stepparent. This is especially true if the two of you live under the same roof.
When you have a stepmom who is jealous of you, she will make every interaction unpleasant so you will have to reduce your interactions as much as you can. But, without causing any issues either.
If you have a family meeting where you will both be there limit your interactions to greeting her and then proceed to engage in conversation with other people. This will help you have a good time with your family, but it will also help you preserve your relationship with your family members.
Think of it this way, if there’s constant conflict between you and your stepmom, that will deteriorate your relationship with your father. Put things in perspective and consider how much you value your relationship with your father and how much you don’t want to lose that.
2- Don’t share your achievements with her:
Have you ever had a feeling that as soon as tell your achievements to someone jealous of you, you start feeling exposed? That’s probably because you should only tell the people you trust about your dreams, goals, and achievements since those are the people who wish you all the good in life and success.
If you have a jealous stepmom consider refraining from opening too much to her about your life. She may ask you how things are going in your life, but try answering with vague answers that will still be just good enough to satisfy her curiosity. However, you will still have to work in private on all your dreams and goals while you safeguard it all in your heart.
Another thing to take into consideration is if your stepmom has children of her own. If she is jealous of you, she may try to compare you with her kids and try to make them appear in a better light than you. In truth, those are behaviors that seek to tease you, and if you don’t respond to her provocations she will soon lose interest in acting in such a horrible way.
3- Learn to read her behavior and anticipate yourself:
Obviously, if your stepmom is jealous of you and works on her jealousy she should resolve her issues and stop being mean to you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to prepare yourself for the worst.
It would be useful to observe her behaviors to find out what triggers her to act jealous toward you in order to help her refrain from being evil and harmful. You could find out what conversation topics or behaviors on your part make her jealousy flare up.
This may sound like you are changing your personality to avoid conflict, but in reality, you are merely learning how to react around someone who seeks conflict with you. If you are successful at tracking and analyzing her behavior there’s a good chance your relationship will become more peaceful and at some level, your stepmom’s jealousy may decrease.
4- Focus on your relationship with other family members:
As human beings, we tend to focus on the bad things more than on the good ones because they tend to affect our sense of security. The same thing may be happening with your stepmom. You may have many family members who you enjoy spending time with and your stepmom is the only person in your family who you don’t like to be with.
If that is the case, you need to put things in perspective so you can see that your stepmom’s jealousy is just a minor nuisance compared to how filled with loved ones your life is. If you have many other family members who make you feel loved and supported then focus on that.
With time, your stepmom will hopefully learn to control her jealousy and understand that it was her choice to even date someone with kids so it is now her duty to accommodate and adjust and be nicer to you. Luckily she will get that soon and will change her attitude towards you.