It’s not uncommon for stepchildren to feel like you’re an intruder in their lives. And, let’s face it, in some ways you are. You’re coming into their lives and, in many cases, taking on a parenting role. It’s no wonder they might be resistant at first.
Additionally, stepchildren can be prone to entitlement issues. They may feel like they deserve more attention or resources than they are getting. In some cases, this can lead to conflict with the biological parent too.
It’s important to be aware of these potential pitfalls when entering into a stepparenting arrangement. By being patient and understanding, you can help to build a strong and healthy relationship with your stepchildren.
What if you have entitled stepchildren?
One of the challenges of being a stepparent is dealing with stepchildren who seem entitled. It can be hard to see your stepchild getting everything they want while you feel like you’re constantly saying no. However, there are some ways to deal with this situation.
First, it’s important to set clear boundaries. Explain to your stepchild that they are not entitled to everything just because they are part of the family. Help them to understand that there are different expectations for behavior in the family and that they need to respect those boundaries.
Secondly, don’t be afraid to say no. It’s okay to give your stepchild what they want sometimes, but don’t feel like you have to give in all the time. If you do, they will quickly learn that they can manipulate you into getting what they want.
Also, try to set realistic expectations for your child. Explain that they won’t always get what they want and that it’s okay to be disappointed sometimes. This should also encourage your child to be grateful for what they have. So help them understand that not everyone is as fortunate as they are and that they should appreciate what they have while they do.
Additionally, teach your stepchild how to handle frustration in a healthy way. Show them how to take a deep breath and calm down when they’re feeling upset. If you deal with an entitled child in a constructive and positive way, you can help them learn how to manage their entitlement issues.
Finally, be consistent with your discipline. If you set rules and expectations, make sure you follow through with them. If you let your stepchild get away with bad behavior sometimes, they will start to think that it’s okay all the time. By being firm and consistent, you can help your stepchild learn that they need to respect the rules you set.
What’s the best way to make stepchildren listen to you and respect you more?
In the end, if you have stepchildren: entitled or not, try to build a strong relationship with them. Show them that you care about them and want what’s best for them.
Although it may seem like the obvious choice, try to avoid becoming the “bad guy” in your stepchildren’s eyes. Yelling and punishments will only earn their resentment, and they’ll be more likely to disobey you, out of spite. Instead, try a more gentle approach.
Use positive reinforcement and set rewards, when they behave well and avoid nagging them or constantly telling them what to do. Give them a bit of space and freedom within the appropriate limits. It may take more patience than you’re used to, but more flies are caught with honey than vinegar. With time and care, you can develop a good relationship with your stepchildren that is built on mutual respect.
Did you put yourself in your stepchildren’s shoes?
In the end, it sounds like you’re feeling a little unappreciated. Maybe your stepkids are being entitled brats, or maybe they’re just kids who are going through a tough time and need a little extra love and attention. We cannot make them out to be so evil and horrible, after all, they’re just kids that don’t know any better.
Either way, it’s important to remember that there are two sides to every story. Did you ever stop to consider why the kids might be acting out? Maybe they’re feeling insecure because their parents are divorced, or maybe they’re grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe they think you’re the entitled one and on top of having to compete with you over their parent’s time and attention, they now have to listen to you too.
Whatever it is, it’s important to try to see things from their perspective and to be understanding and gentle. At the end of the day, they’re just children, and they deserve to be treated with compassion and a lot of love.
It’s true that it’s tough to be a step-parent, but it’s a choice you have met before you got more involved with your partner; unless they hid their kids from you or something like that. So accept that you’re expected to love and nurture these kids as if they were your own, it can be difficult at times but it doesn’t have to be. If you treat them like your own; they’ll grow into responsible adults that respect and care for you even more than they would for a biological parent.
Alternatively, if you’re only dating their parent still, and already feel left out or find it hard to know how to deal with such a situation, then we recommend you read this article too.