You might be wondering why someone who is emotionally unavailable would show any type of interest in you, in the first place. Or, how he got you interested, at least. Love is supposed to be shared, enjoyed by both parties involved, and felt on a deep level by both. So how did someone whose heart is unavailable, or whose emotionally unavailable get you to fall for them so badly?
If the man you’re dealing with is emotionally unavailable because of another woman or because he’s simply taken or can’t get over someone, then the best thing to do is to leave him. You deserve better or at least someone who will give you a real chance and their full attention from day 1. But if he’s emotionally unavailable for other reasons then it may be worth it to give it a shot.
The type of unavailable men that deserve to be given a chance:
So if what we said is true, why did we write this article? The reason we wrote this article is that there can be men that are emotionally unavailable for other reasons. And, these deserve a chance or deserve for someone to try to save them, if they’re willing to give it a shot.
Men, that are emotionally unavailable because it’s the consequence of their upbringing, the society they grew up in, or a specific life context, are not to blame.
These might not be a lost cause and it wouldn’t harm if you fought a little or tried harder to get the attention of someone like that. These are men that might have not been taught how to express their feelings.
An emotionally unavailable man can be defined as someone who is unwilling or unable to express his emotions, feel them, or share them with others. This type of man does not know how to relate to others and often has difficulty forming meaningful relationships.
And, again, in this article, we are discussing and considering men that are like this by nature rather than ones that are this way because of a traumatic past relationship or because they’re not ready to date again or be in a serious relationship since they couldn’t move on from their last one.
5 ways to get an emotionally unavailable man to chase you:
1) Don’t chase him:
The idea of getting chased in a romantic way by someone and having them confess their feelings and emotions is a foreign concept to most men. That’s simply because most men are used to being the ones chasing after women in heterosexual relationships. They are the ones that assume this role, as it is a role that was considered for the longest by society a masculine thing to do.
So whether we like it or not, there are still men in today’s society that have this thinking and that prefer to take on that role. There are many men that feel emasculated to be approached by a woman or chased romantically by her.
This doesn’t mean that a woman has no way of making her feelings, wants, and expectations, known to a man. She is just expected to be more secretive about it, playful, use body language, eye contact, and her femininity to pull him and draw him in.
By being open and vulnerable with your emotions, you can create an emotional connection and push the man to chase you instead of doing the chasing. All you have to do is know when and how to drop hints here and there, and take a playful indirect, and discreet initiative to make him see that you enjoy his company, talking to him, and spending more time together. The rest will follow naturally!
2) Intrigue him and awaken his curiosity:
If a man is too drawn in his own issues of being unavailable emotionally and not even open to seeing what’s happening around him, then try to wake him up to it.
Shake him out of his routine and boring stubbornness of having already decided there’s nobody for him. Show him that life is short and that he’s missing out on a lot of fun by being too serious and negative.
This doesn’t have to be spoken out loud, you can show him in your actions and the things you do together that there are things he didn’t explore yet and things he doesn’t know. This will open his mind to wanting to try new things and will make him more open to giving chances to new things and stuff outside his comfort zone.
In other words, this will show him that his ideas and closed-off ways are not always good things to do. And it will imply that he should give a chance to love too, amongst other things, and try to live life from a different perspective.
3) Be impulsive and spontaneous:
Be spontaneous. You can’t plan out every moment of your life. The more you act like yourself and don’t overthink situations, the more likely you are to catch his interest. If someone is going to fall for you or chase you, then they better see your true self and real personality from day 1. This way it will be easier to maintain the passion throughout the years and build something that will last.
Trying to be someone you’re not, will only last as long as you pretend and play the game. In the end, as soon as a hint of your true colors come out the person will be disappointed and may run away.
Without being direct about your feelings for him or chasing him, try to be direct about everything other matter of life. Speak your true thoughts, laugh out loud at things that you find funny, be upset at things that you think are wrong. Show your true personality and be passionate about it all.
Nobody likes a boring emotionless person that you cannot get a reaction out of, no matter what. We all like expressive people, that have values, opinions and that can communicate them without fear and at any expense.
4) Show him that you won’t wait for life:
Try to indirectly show him that other people might be interested in you. This is one of the last steps as he would’ve already started seeing you in a different light and realized that you have many colors to your spirit and personality.
He would’ve already seen how fun and beautiful life by your side can be, and while you may have a lot of free time to share with him, as a friend now. You may not be so available if you started a serious romantic relationship. Tell him about anyone you might have that is chasing you or pursuing a relationship with you.
Explain why you’re not interested and make it known that if you found someone more suitable but also just as willing to take the initiative, then you may give it more thought.
Do not lose hope, get frustrated, or think that he won’t get it. Men are smart and quick to pick up on hints like this, if you followed every step until now, and he still didn’t show an ounce of romantic interest in you then chances are he is not interested. This also means he would’ve probably just rejected you more directly if you took a more direct approach.
If he seems very uninterested in whether you start a romantic relationship soon with someone else, then chances are he doesn’t see you as a suitable match for himself.
5) Don’t give in:
If it ever comes up, explain to him that you don’t do physical relationships that are pointless or meaningless. Adopt this position and explain why you only ever consider physical bonding in a sexual form after having established an emotional connection and after both parties have clear intentions of starting a relationship.
This way you avoid awkward, draining, and harmful “situationships” or relationships that are confusing, have no future, and create more questions than fun times.
By doing this, you will set the record straight about what you expect and what he’ll have to do if he considered being with you in a physical way. This will make everything crystal clear and create a lot of transparency between the two of you. Plus, chances are if he was just wondering about whether to chase you or not romantically, this will give him a purpose and a reward to push him in that direction.
A man who will chase you but has nothing to gain from doing so or nothing to look forward to can get hesitant, reluctant, or lose interest quickly.