The first thing you need to know is that men are not as complicated as they seem. And the second thing is that they are not all that different from women.
However, in the end, it is not easy to get a man to commit in today’s time and age. Most men want the woman to allow many things and everything and they are still reluctant to make any commitments.
However, you can still get him to commit if you know what you are doing.
5 steps to get him to commit:
1. Have your own identity:
Men love a woman who is confident and sure of herself, who can speak her mind, who knows what she wants and goes for it. They also like a good challenge, flirtation, a game where they’re not sure whether they’d win or lose.
Anything that is guaranteed has no thrill or sense of adventure to it. And, we all know that men like to play, be entertained, and keep busy. They have a lot of energy that they like spending after a woman that sharpens all of their senses.
Obviously, we can’t put all men in one basket. But it is safe to say most men love a woman who has her own life, interests, and friends. A woman that is in herself an entire world to explore, rather than someone who is just waiting for a man to come and give her an identity.
They want a woman with an opinion about everything- from the best way to spend a date, to the best way to raise children.
2. Give him space:
You need to be careful and not seem too desperate for commitment. He will appreciate it if you are not always asking him about a future together.
Make sure that you are giving him space and time to do his own thing. If you respect the first step and have your own identity, then it goes without saying that you will have your own occupations and daily tasks or hobbies that keep you busy.
Whenever you meet or talk on the phone, he will feel like a look into your different and exciting life is a fresh breather and change from his own daily routine. It will make it interesting for him to take a look at your mood and the things that make you happy and keep you going.
This is especially true if you have a positive mindset and sound happy and full with life, whenever he hears your voice or sees your face. Having someone complain about their life, problems, and worries all the time is never going to provide anyone with a nice break from our own routine.
3- Don’t use compassion and pity:
You should be confident in yourself and your abilities. Men like women who are sure of themselves, so it is important that you don’t let any insecurity show at first.
Some women like to play the compassion card and hope that by showing their weaknesses the man will want to stick around and do his absolute best to help. This is sometimes true, but no smart man will go out of his way to create a permanent issue or headache for himself and even if it meant that he’ll be with someone he likes.
Keep in mind he is not your therapist. If you want a man to get attracted to you first and see your potential as a great partner then you have to let him dream of being a beautiful, balanced, and fulfilling relationship with you.
Even if have a problem or insecurity that is impossible to get over then he may be more willing to help later on if he is a supportive partner. However, there’s no need to let every other man you meet, and that still didn’t even commit, into your personal matters and insecurities.
4- Don’t give him what he wants:
This is one of the most important things to do if you want to get a guy to commit. If you’re always giving in or already giving him everything he would’ve gained by committing and without him needing to commit, then chances are: he won’t ever commit! It’s that simple.
He’ll never feel the need to commit when all it will do is get him in trouble when he faults. If he’s already ripping all the benefits, committed men enjoy with their wives and girlfriends, with you and without commitment then why would he make a step in that direction? It looks like a horrible deal, and he knows it.
He’s won it all already just by being smart and without needing to put much on the table. So, if you already gave in and provide him with all he wants: change your mind, it’s that simple! Tell him that you don’t feel good anymore about treating him or any man for that fact like they’re your committed partner when they’re not.
Inform him that you’d only take seriously the needs and wants of a man that takes you seriously and that commits to you. Make sure you say it in a gentle and kind way so it doesn’t trigger a fight or backfire. In any case, don’t give in again and make a vow to yourself that he’d rather commit or he will start getting treated in a different way.
5. Show him you’re desired by others:
It’s not a secret that men are competitive creatures. Sometimes, we need to use this to our advantage in order to get what we want.
If you’re ready for him to commit, then it’s time to make him feel like he’ll lose you if he doesn’t. It may sound mean, but it’s just the way men work. You can do this by showing him that you’re desired by other people and that if he took time to understand that someone else would’ve committed already then he may lose you.
There’s no harm in making him jealous a little bit or using whoever else is trying to woo you to make him see your worth. In the end, if all goes well, you can both remember the old times and laugh at little anecdotes that this entire situation may create, years down the line!
The bottom line:
We’ve all been there. You’re in a relationship with someone who is so amazing, but you can’t seem to get them to make the next move. You want to be with them and they want to be with you, but something always holds them back.
It could be fear of commitment, fear of losing their independence, or fear of getting hurt again. Whatever the reason, it’s time for you to step up, follow the steps listed above and help them break through these barriers.