Accountability is important in any relationship; whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial. When we are accountable to someone, we are basically saying that we are willing to be held accountable for our actions by them.

This doesn’t mean that we always have to agree with what they say or do, but it does mean that we respect their right to have a say in things that affect them. If we want to maintain healthy relationships, it is important to learn how to hold each other accountable in a respectful way.

So how can you keep someone accountable in a relationship?

5 steps to hold someone accountable in a relationship:

1- Learn to communicate your needs and expectations:

In any relationship, it’s important to be able to hold your partner accountable. Whether it’s picking up their socks off the floor or being honest about their feelings, accountability is key to a healthy relationship.

However, it can be difficult to hold someone accountable without coming across as nagging or bossy. The key is to set clear expectations and communicate your needs in a calm and respectful way. This way they will know without a doubt that a specific thing will upset you before they do it. In the end, you cannot hold them accountable for something they didn’t even know would upset you so much.

In other words, you can only hold your partner accountable when it comes to things you have warned them about already; by communicating effectively prior to their mistake.

For example, instead of demanding that your partner pick up their socks, try telling them earlier that you don’t like living in a mess of having them leave their socks on the floor. You can check this article out later on how to deal with a messy partner if that’s truly the problem here.

By taking the time to understand their perspective and allowing them to understand yours, you can find a mutually agreeable solution that works for both of you. At the end of the day, holding someone accountable in a relationship is all about setting boundaries and communicating effectively. By being clear about your expectations, you can help to ensure that your needs are met and that both partners are contributing to the relationship.

2- Teach them that their actions will have consequences:

One thing to do to hold someone accountable and that always works is to reward good behaviour and punish bad behaviour. If your partner follows through on what they say they’re going to do, reward them with praise or appreciated actions or even hugs, kisses, sweet words and affection.

On the other hand, if they don’t follow through, make sure to point it out and express your disappointment. Show them that you’re upset and angry, not necessarily by being cold or distant but simply by not being as sweet, open, loving and kind as usual. This will help to show that you’re paying attention and that their behaviour has consequences.

So when they betray your trust or do something wrong, don’t just brush it off. When your partner lets you down, it’s important to communicate how you’re feeling. Don’t just shrug it off and pretend like it didn’t happen; this will only serve to foster resentment. Instead, talk about what happened and why it bothered you.

You can even find a way for them to make it up to you by doing something that will inconvenience them a little. This will help to ensure that your partner understands the impact of their actions and is more likely to change their behaviour in the future.

3- Learn to hold yourself accountable too:

In any kind of relationship; whether it’s with a romantic partner, friend, or family member, it’s important to learn how to hold each other accountable. This doesn’t mean becoming a dictator or only ever disciplining and lecturing your partner for faulting.

Just because your partner loves you and complies with you holding them accountable and using these tactics doesn’t mean that you should become a bossy nagging and horrible person to be with.

Don’t fall into the trap of constantly trying to control the other person. Instead, try to learn to compromise and work together towards common goals. So, it’s also important to remember that you’re not perfect, and you should hold yourself accountable too. Your partner might not be someone so controlling or someone who will hold you accountable when you make a mistake, so it is your responsibility to be fair and just.

If you make a mistake, own up to it, apologize and promise to be better before you start to actively do better next time. By learning to communicate openly and fairly, you can create a strong foundation for any kind of relationship.

4- Have regular check-ins:

It’s important to have regular check-ins with your partner to make sure that things are still on track. This gives you both a chance to air any concerns and to make sure that you’re still on the same page.

This can be done weekly, monthly, or even quarterly. During these check-ins, you can discuss how things are going and identify any areas of concern. This will help to ensure that both partners are on the same page and that problems are identified early on.

If there are any issues that need to be addressed, you can work together to come up with a plan to resolve them. Regular check-ins can help to keep a relationship healthy and strong.

If you can do this at least, then you’ll be well on your way to holding each other accountable in a healthy and positive way.

5- Learn to forgive and move on:

Finally, one of the most important things to remember when trying to hold someone accountable is that they are not perfect. We all make mistakes, and nobody is perfect. The key is that they are trying to learn from their mistakes and not repeat them so try not to hold a grudge forever and allow the two of you to move on.

However, if it’s something unforgivable or a deal-breaker then you can still just reconsider the relationship. But if you’re willing to stay and to be with that person then try not to make the relationship a nightmare by reminding them of their past mistakes months and years down the line.

If they can learn to accept accountability for their actions, apologize and promise to try their best not to make the same mistake again then you can also learn to forgive them when things go wrong. After all, forgiveness is an essential part of any healthy relationship.