Lying is one of those bad habits that can quickly become serious in a relationship. It starts off small, with a white lie here or there. But before you know it, you’re caught in a web of lies, and it can be tough to break free.
Once your partner realizes you’ve been lying, they’re going to have a hard time trusting you again. And trust is essential in any relationship. So if you want to keep your relationship strong, it’s important to be truthful, even when it’s difficult. So how can you stop lying in a relationship?
5 steps to stop lying in a relationship:
1- Look for the root cause:
First, it’s important, to be honest with yourself. If you’re having trouble being truthful, ask yourself why. Are you afraid of what your partner will think? Are you trying to avoid conflict? Once you understand your motives, it will be easier to start being honest.
So it may be time to take a step back and look at the root cause of your behavior. What is motivating you to lie? Is it fear of rejection? A need to control the situation? Once you’ve identified the motivator, you can start to address it.
If you’re afraid of rejection, for example, you can start to work on building up your self-esteem. If you’re motivated by a need for control, you can start to explore other ways of achieving that feeling. In any case, getting to the bottom of your lying will be an important step in repairing your relationship.
2- Make an honesty vow:
Next, make a commitment to be truthful from now on. This means being honest about big things and small things. Even if it’s something minor, like what you did last weekend, being honest is important.
Obviously, everyone tells little white lies now and then. But if you find yourself lying often in your relationship or if all it takes for you to get out of control is a small little lie, it’s time to make a change. Honesty is essential for a healthy relationship, and even small lies can damage trust. If you’re not sure how to stop lying, make a vow to yourself and your partner to never lie again.
Promise that you’ll always tell the truth, no matter what. It may be difficult at first, but over time it will become easier. As you practice being honest, you’ll build trust and create a stronger bond with your partner.
3- Keep your word:
In the end, it will never be enough to make a promise if you’re not going to act on it and keep it so keep your word. You can read in this article later about how promising something to your partner or someone and not delivering can be devastating.
So once you’ve made a commitment to honesty, stick to it. This means owning up to your mistakes and not making excuses. It won’t be easy, but being honest is the only way to build a trusting and healthy relationship.
When you keep a promise, you show yourself and the other person involved that you can be trusted to be reliable and trustworthy. But when you lie, you break that trust and damage your relationships.
Also, keep your word even when it’s not convenient. You may be tempted to lie when it would be easier than telling the truth, but that’s not fair to a partner who believed you and trust you. Remember that your vow is more important than your pride. It’s better to admit that you were wrong than to keep up the lie. Lying may seem like the easy way out, but it will always catch up with you in the end. So, keep your promises, and your relationships will be stronger for it.
4- Come clean:
At some point in every relationship, someone tells a lie. While white lies are generally harmless: like saying “I love your new haircut!” when you don’t actually find it nice; bigger lies can have a serious impact on a relationship. If you’re struggling with how to stop lying in a relationship, it’s important to come clean and tell the truth.
If you have that one big lie that pushed and almost forced you to make all these other little lies around it; just to keep up with it, then you have to tell the truth about it all. You have to come clean about this one big lie that caused you to fabricate an entire web of lies around you. Honesty is the foundation of any strong relationship, and without it, couples will inevitably start to drift apart.
So again, if there’s one lie that pushed you to make others, it’s time to come out with the truth. It may be difficult and scary, but it’s important to face up to what you’ve done. Telling the truth will also help you to avoid getting caught by your partner when things become more complicated, which can be even more damaging to a relationship.
Ultimately, honesty is the best policy in any relationship. By being truthful, you can build trust and create a stronger bond with your partner.
5- Adopt a reflex to spit the truth out in all cases:
Couples who are in a relationship usually share everything with each other. But sometimes, even though we love our partners, we still can’t help but lie to them when asked about something. What you can do to prevent this from happening is commit to being honest with yourself and saying the truth no matter what. It might be difficult at first, but you need to adopt a reflex of just saying it as it is, without thinking too much about things.
And, don’t ever think that you’re protecting your partner by lying to them; because chances are, they’ll find out eventually and it will only make things worse. Also, if you’re not sure whether or not you should tell your partner the truth about something, just ask yourself this question: would I want my partner to lie to me if the roles were reversed? If the answer is no, then you know what you should do. Just say the truth.
It might not be easy, but it’s always the best way to go. Adopt this new habit of answering any questions without even thinking them through. This way you’ll have lesser chances of fabricating little lies and you’ll be spitting the truth as unpleasant as it is and maybe even arguing about it with your partner.
However, chances it will all be forgotten and forgiven within an hour or two at most, rather than dragging and trapping yourself in a big web of lies that can cause a break-up when you eventually get caught.