Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows that they’re not always easy. Even the best relationships have their fair share of ups and downs. One of the biggest challenges is learning how to deal with negative thoughts.
It’s normal to have occasional negative thoughts about your partner, but if they start to become overwhelming, it can put a strain on the relationship.
Maybe you’re annoyed with your partner for leaving their socks on the floor or forgetting to put the toilet seat down. However, if you find yourself dwelling on these negative thoughts, it will be beneficial to take action by following the steps below.
How to stop being negative in a relationship?
1- Focus on the positive qualities of your partner:
One way to stop negative thoughts is to brainstorm some positive things about your partner. For example, maybe they are always willing to lend a listening ear or they make you laugh when you’re feeling down. Focusing on the positive aspects of your partner can help to counterbalance the negative thoughts.
You have to understand that if you find yourself fixating on your partner’s negative sides, it will slowly affect the relationship in a negative way too. After all, it’s easy to focus on what’s wrong rather than what’s right. If you catch yourself doing this, as we said, just try to focus on your partner’s good qualities. What do you love about them? What makes them special?
Reminding yourself of the things you appreciate about your partner can help you to see them in a more positive light. Additionally, try to be more mindful of the language you use when thinking about your partner.
Avoid using words like “always” or “never” when describing their bad behavior, instead, focus on specific instances. By being more mindful of your thoughts and words, you can help to create a more positive outlook on your relationship.
2- Find the cause for your negativity:
If you catch yourself being very negative in your relationship, try to take a step back and understand where the thoughts are coming from. Are they based on reality or are they just your insecurities? If it’s the latter, then it’s important to remind yourself that everyone has insecurities and that you’re with your partner because they love you for who you are.
Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by your partner’s demands, or perhaps you’re simply not getting what you need from the relationship. Whatever the cause, it’s important to identify it and reflect on it so you can address it directly.
Once you know what’s causing your negativity, try to find a way to fix the problem. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, for example, talk to your partner about ways to lighten your load. If you’re not getting what you need, express your needs directly and clearly. By taking action to address the root of the problem, you can start to turn things around and feel better about your relationship.
3- Talk to your partner:
Additionally, if you’re in such a situation then try to communicate openly with your partner about your concerns. They may not be aware of the impact their actions are having on you and be willing to make some changes. By giving your partner the benefit of the doubt and communicating openly, you can help stop negative thoughts from taking over your relationship.
Plus don’t forget that communication is key in every relationship. Your partner may know you very well and maybe have spent years by your side, but that still won’t make them capable of reading your mind. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by negative thoughts, tell them what’s going on so they can help support you through it.
4- Make an effort to reframe your thought process:
In the end, remember that many couples often find themselves falling into negative patterns of thinking about each other. If you find yourself repeatedly having negative thoughts about your partner, it can be tough to break out of that mindset. If despite all your efforts, and despite following the steps above you still catch yourself falling into this trap then you’ll have to re-shape the way you think about your partner.
The key is to become more aware of your thought patterns and make a conscious effort to change them. One way to do this is to start noticing when you have negative thoughts and then try to reframe them in a more positive light.
For instance, instead of thinking, “My partner never listens to me,” try changing it to, “I need to communicate better with my partner.” It may take some time and effort, but changing your thought patterns can help improve your relationship.
5- Consider taking a break from social media:
Another thing to think about is that social media can be a breeding ground for negativity. If you find yourself constantly comparing your relationship to others, it’s time to take a break from it.
Delete the apps from your phone or take a break from checking them altogether. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel when you’re not constantly comparing yourself to others.
If you suffer from such a problem, we recommend you check this article out to help you decide whether quitting social media for your mental health is the right choice for you right now.
6- Practice self-care:
When you’re feeling stressed or down, it’s important to practice self-care. Negative thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to arguments and distance. The best way to stop them could simply be to practice self-care.
Spend time with friends and family, do things that make you happy, and take care of yourself physically and emotionally. When you’re feeling good about yourself, it’s easier to feel positive about your relationship too. So take care of yourself, and watch those negative thoughts disappear.