It’s easy to see the potential in someone and ignore their flaws at first sight, but it’s important to remember that no one is perfect. If you find yourself constantly thinking about how perfect someone is, try to focus on their negative qualities too. This will help balance your feelings towards them.
It sounds mean, but it’ll help you see them as real people instead of an idealized version of them. And you might end up finding out the wrong way that that version of them doesn’t exist; which can be heartbreaking.
Stopping yourself from romanticizing someone a lot can also stop you from developing an unhealthy obsession with them or a fatal attraction. So if you’re really trying to stop romanticizing someone here are a few more tips or steps you can try:
How to stop romanticizing or idealizing someone:
We’ve all been there: you meet someone new and you immediately start seeing them through rose-colored glasses. Everything they do is perfect, and you can’t imagine finding anything wrong with them. But inevitably, as time goes on, the cracks begin to show.
And if you’re not careful, you can find yourself in a situation where you’re romanticizing someone who isn’t even good for you. So how do you avoid this trap? Simply follow the steps listed below!
1- Focus on their flaws:
As mentioned earlier in the intro, the key in a similar situation is to focus on their flaws from the beginning. It sounds counterintuitive, but it’s important to remember that nobody is perfect.
By keeping this in mind from the start, you’ll be less likely to build them up into someone they’re not. And if you do find yourself getting carried away, take a step back and remind yourself of their imperfections. It might not be as fun as seeing them through rose-colored glasses, but it’s a lot healthier in the long run.
Plus it’s also important to remember that you’re only seeing one side of them: the side they want you to see. Everyone has flaws and everyone makes mistakes, so don’t put them on a pedestal. Just try to take a more realistic view of who they are and what they’re like.
2- Spend less time around them:
Additionally, try to spend less time around the person your mind keeps trying to romanticize. The more you’re around them, the more likely you are to start fantasizing about what could be and making them out to be this amazing and perfect person that only exists in your imagination.
So, if you can’t stop thinking about them, it might be best to distance yourself for a while. In fact, if you find yourself romanticizing someone, it can be very helpful to distance yourself from them for a while.
This doesn’t mean you have to break up with them if you’re dating or stop being friends, but it does mean taking a step back and learning to live again without them. Try not to see them as often, not to think about them and when you do see them, try to focus on the more negative aspects of their personality as mentioned earlier.
3- Remember everyone can pretend to be someone they’re not:
It’s easy to see someone and think they’re perfect. They may be gorgeous, and funny, and seem like they have their life together. But ultimately everyone has flaws and aspects of their personality that aren’t always desirable.
So even though someone might make you laugh, be always there for you, and even understand you in a way that nobody else does; the truth is, everyone can pretend to be someone they’re not. The person you’re romanticizing could be pretending to be someone they’re not. They could be putting on an act in order to get your attention or to make you like them.
If you find yourself romanticizing someone a lot, try to remember that you can also let people see only the best in you when that’s what you wish for. But, it doesn’t mean that you’re perfect, or that you have no bad habits or flaws.
In the end, don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you have any doubts about who somebody really is, don’t be afraid to ask many many questions. And, before you know it you’ll catch them in contradictions or a lie or two. Hopefully, it opens your eyes to the fact that they’re not as perfect as you initially thought they were.
Bottom line:
It can be easy to romanticize someone, especially if you don’t know them that well. Maybe you’ve seen them around and they seem really cool, or you’ve been talking to them and they seem perfect.
Whatever the case may be, it’s important to remember that romanticizing someone is unhealthy. Not only that but it can make you look desperate too. It can also turn toxic if you start obsessing over them or they start leading you on.
So, understand that there’s no point in wasting your time on someone, especially someone who’s not interested in being with you or someone who doesn’t have the same opinion of you.
If you find yourself constantly romanticizing someone who’s unattainable or uninterested in you, it might be time to seek out professional help. Developing a fatal attraction for someone who is bad news can quickly get messy and prove to be catastrophic!