If you’ve cheated on someone in the past, there’s no easy way to tell your current partner. It’s not something you want to bring up lightly, but it’s also not something you want to keep hidden.
Honesty is always the best policy, but there are a few things you should keep in mind before sitting down for that difficult conversation.
At the end of the article, we decide whether it’s even a good idea to tell them or not, so read on!
4 steps to tell someone you cheated in the past:
1- Be prepared for anything:
First, be prepared for a range of reactions. Your partner may be hurt, angry, or both. Be prepared for anything when you tell someone you cheated in the past, even though the cheating was not done on them.
Maybe you have cheated on one of your past relationships and it taught you a big lesson so you want to bring that experience up. Be aware that the person you tell may react with shock, or they may think you’re a hypocrite, manipulator, and a liar. However, they will still see that you chose to be honest about your past rather than hide it.
Deception and lying will only make the situation worse so tell them and just be ready to get any reaction that gets thrown at you. Be prepared to answer any questions too, and listen to them apologetically and with regret even if they have nothing to do with the entire story. Chances are you probably want this person to trust you, choose you, date you, and maybe even start a relationship with you one day.
So it’s better they hear it coming from you than someone else. And it’s good that you’re there so you can direct their thinking, reaction, and opinion of you while telling them. Just be honest about what happened and why it won’t happen again. Be confident in yourself and your decision, to tell the truth, and the rest will fall into place.
2- Take responsibility:
If you’ve cheated on someone in the past and want to tell your current partner, the best way to approach the situation is to take responsibility for your actions and be honest about what happened. Explain that you made a mistake and that you were and still are sorry for the pain you caused. Assure your partner that you’re committed to being faithful in the future.
It’s also important, to be honest about why you cheated. If there was a problem in the relationship, discuss it openly and explain how you plan to avoid similar problems in the future. By being open and honest, you can rebuild trust and create a stronger relationship.
Taking responsibility for your actions can reflect that you have gained a lot of maturity and wisdom since then. Acknowledge that what you did was wrong and that nothing can justify why you didn’t just leave the relationship but chose betrayal. Tell that person that you will much rather communicate, try to fix things, and even leave before you ever consider doing something so unethical and hurtful, ever again.
3- Demonstrate that you’re embracing change:
You also have to be willing to make some changes. If your current partner is willing to trust you, they’ll likely expect some sort of guarantee and reassurance that you have changed.
We’ve all made mistakes, and what matters most is that you’re willing to change. After all, you don’t have to do much to prove you’re not the same person you were then: you’re older, wiser, and more experienced. You’re a new version of yourself, and you’re ready to show the world and your new partner that you’ve changed.
So go ahead and tell your partner about your past. It might be painful at first, but it’s important, to be honest with the people you love. And who knows? They might just be willing to forgive you. After all, everybody deserves a second chance.
4- Never make excuses or justify it:
It’s never easy to tell someone you’ve cheated on another person in the past, but it’s important to be honest about your history if you want a relationship to move forward. After all, you don’t want to take the risk of having someone else tell them as explained earlier.
In this case, one of the most crucial steps is to never make excuses for your actions and avoid making your behavior sound justifiable. It will be good to express your remorse as many times as you see fit and explain that you’re committed to being faithful in the future.
Also, be prepared to answer any questions your partner but without putting all the blame on your past partner that you cheated on. Just try to provide assurance that you won’t cheat again. While it may not be easy, sharing your history of cheating can help build trust and create a stronger foundation for the relationship.
Should you even tell your current partner about your past infidelity?
Cheating is never a good idea, but sometimes people make mistakes. If you’re in a committed relationship and you’ve cheated on someone else in the past, you may be wondering if you should tell your partner in the first place.
On one hand, it’s important, to be honest with the person you love. However, revealing your past infidelity can also be incredibly deceiving. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to tell your partner about your cheating is a personal one. If you’re struggling to make a decision, here are a few things to consider.
First, weigh the pros and cons of telling your partner. Is being honest more important than sparing their feelings? Second, think about how your partner would react if they found out about your cheating on their own. Would they be more hurt by your deception and dishonesty or by the fact that you cheated?
Lastly, consider whether or not you’re truly prepared to change your ways. Are you ready to take steps to prevent cheating in the future? Demonstrating that you’re committed to making changes in your life can help to ease some of the pain that your partner may feel if you reveal your past infidelity.
In the end, if you decide against telling your current partner then check this article for how to forgive yourself for cheating and not telling. This article though will be taking things more from the perspective of not telling the person you’ve cheated on rather than a new partner.