Uninviting someone is a difficult task for most people. It is not something that you want to do out of fun or for pleasure, it usually has a strong and valid reason. But, even then we find it hard to confront someone, let them know the truth, be rude to them and inform them that they’re no longer wanted in a specific place at a specific time.

So, if someone has been invited on your behalf or even by you but you no longer want them to be one of your guests for an upcoming event you organized, there are a few steps you can take. Uninviting someone from a wedding or a specific event is a difficult task. It is not as easy as it sounds. One should learn the proper etiquette on how to do it delicately by following the steps below.

5 steps to uninvite someone without conflict:

1- Make sure there’s no misunderstanding:

The person you are trying to uninvite is likely to be a friend or a family member. If you’ve done something wrong to them and don’t want to be in the same space as them, what’s better than uninviting them would be to take responsibility for your actions, ask for forgiveness and move on.

You can’t spend your life running away from silly mistakes, we’re all humans: it’s okay to make a mistake but what’s beautiful about that is that we can always try and fix it. And, fixing a mistake will bring us closer.

If they’re the ones that wronged you then don’t shy away from speaking up for yourself and confronting them directly. Kindly ask about their motives and reasons, then listen, and understand the logic behind the actions they took that hurt you. Make sure you have a clear understanding of what truly went on before you jump to conclusions or try to uninvite them.

2- Say the event is not taking place in the same venue:

If you tried to clear the air, but it still didn’t help then you can carry on and uninvite them. However, if you want to do it without being rude or clear about your intentions. You can always find a way around it.

For instance, you can call them or send them a text saying that the venue where the event was gonna take place has changed. Say you’re not sure yet about the new venue, but you’ll let them know soon enough. You can confirm however that the old venue they were invited to is not gonna be it for sure and that they should just wait on an update from you.

This sounds a little mean to do, but if the event you organized is yours and you just don’t want that person there then it is okay to do. It’s better than fighting, cursing them, and creating drama unnecessarily. Instead, you can choose to be strategic and smart about it. As the old saying goes: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Just to reassure them you can choose to call or visit them to give them the fake news rather than by text. This way you talk to them in person and confirm that it will be pointless for them to come to the place where the event “was gonna take place” during that specific time, as that’s canceled for sure! Reassure them and say they have to wait until you send them the details of the new place where it will be held.

3- Ignore them until after the event has taken place:

The idea of ignoring someone until after the event means you have to refrain from interacting with them, answering their calls or texts, and avoiding meeting face-to-face with them.

In the end, you have a valid excuse for being too busy to chat to them and that’s the fact that you’re preparing for an important event! It means that you should completely cut off all contact with the person, not just limit your interactions until after the event has taken place.

You can say that updating them with the right info and venue about the event has completely slipped out of your mind because you were so busy. This way you can uninvite them without upsetting them, being too rude about it, or losing them forever.

4- Make it look like one big misunderstanding unless you want to own it:

After what’s done is done, you can be apologetic and present your apologies to the person you have uninvited, if you decide to keep them in your life. You can get them a little gift or do something nice like watch videos from the event they couldn’t come to, together. Be careful that they don’t see this as a petty attack if they understand that they just got uninvited.

Nobody can be judged for having forgotten to re-invite someone with the right info. You can even say that you just ended up sticking to the same venue or place that was supposed to take place and you just assumed they’d come. Or, you can say you forgot to update them because you kept the same venue anyway and went back on your decision to change it.

If you choose to keep up with a person you’re clearly not so fond of, then make sure they don’t bring negative energy into your life. Check out this article on how to recognize a person that’s surrounded by negative energy and why you should limit contact with them to protect yourself.