Getting involved with a married man is complicated and messy, and it’s unlikely to end well. Not only are you jeopardizing his relationship with his wife, but you’re also putting yourself in a position to get hurt.
You may think it’s this passionate, unmatched, and historical love story but all it could end up being for him, in the end, is an affair and a rough patch in his marriage. You never know. Maybe his wife and him will reconcile and get over the stain that tarnished their beautiful marriage in a moment of weakness: namely: you!
Long story short: the possibilities and scenarios are endless and each one of them says that it’s simply not worth it. So, if you find yourself falling for a man who is already taken, do the right thing and walk away. If you can’t bring yourself to do that, then hopefully this article helps.
5 steps to walk away from a married man:
1- Find the root cause for this attraction and feelings:
If you find yourself attracted to a married man, it’s important to take some time to analyze why you’re drawn to him. What made you find someone who’s clearly unavailable and taken so attractive and appealing. Or are you only find him so magnetic because he looks like a challenge to you and you’ll secretly find it flattering to be able to take someone from their partner?
You may think that this is ridiculous and even get offended at the thought that you can be so selfish or arrogant. However, we recommend you try and look into this more. Some women have a habit of only ever falling for married men or ones that are unavailable in some way.
So if you fall within this category, stop for a minute and ask yourself about the root cause for this dangerous fascination with what’s not yours. If you have such a fantasy or unconscious desire or infatuation with this type of man then ask yourself whether or not getting professional help to tackle these deep-rooted feelings and insecurities is right for you.
2- Focus on yourself and get him out of your head:
Being attracted to a married man can be emotionally tough to deal with. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to do what you can to forget about him and move on.
One way to do this is to focus on taking care of yourself. Take time for yourself every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Focus on your hobbies and interests. Keep yourself busy with other activities.
When you have free time, instead of wondering what he’s doing, if he’s sharing his bed with his spouse tonight or if they truly sleep in separate rooms like he claims; focus on doing things that make you happy.
Getting him out of your head will take some time and effort, but it will be worth it in the end. Once you’ve been able to forget about him, you’ll be free to move on and find someone who is actually available, which is what you deserve.
3- Avoid meeting in person, even if it’s a “coincidence”:
One clear thing you can do is to avoid places where you know you’ll see him. This might mean changing up your morning routine or avoiding social events that you know he’ll be attending.
If you can’t avoid seeing him altogether, try to keep your interactions brief and businesslike. The more you see him, the harder it will be to forget about him. But if you keep your distance, eventually the attraction will fade.
Also, avoid his calls and texts. If you must communicate with him, make sure to do it when his wife is around. We can assure you that he wouldn’t dare or dream of making any inappropriate comment in her presence, whatever little story he told you about how mad they are at each other or how they’re “separating”. In fact, you should block his number if necessary.
Plus, if you have mutual friends, it might be necessary to cut ties with them as well, at least temporarily. It’s also important to keep yourself busy, as stated before: so that you’re not constantly thinking about him or inventing excuses to see or meet him “by accident”.
4- Spend more time with friends and loved ones:
Another thing we’d recommend is to spend time with friends and loved ones who will support your decision. Or, if you’re too ashamed to have told anyone about this affair then you can still use their company without letting them suspect anything.
It can be difficult to stay away from someone if you’re constantly thinking about them, so speaking with people who will help distract you can be very helpful.
Remind yourself of the relationships that are meaningful to you and why you value them. Try to reflect on how your loved ones reciprocate your feelings; not just with talk, but with actions and a clear display of love. And, that’s not something this married man: that never seems to be able to get divorced or become available, can do for you.
This can help you to refocus your attention and energy on the people who are available to you, rather than dwelling on someone who is not. Ultimately, spending more time with the people who matter to you and to whom you matter without a doubt can help put you on the right path and rebuild your self-confidence.
5- It’s not worth it to wait for him:
If you find yourself attracted to a married man, it’s important to remember that he is off-limits. Not only is he unavailable, but he is also probably very happy with his wife. Maybe his only flaw is that he is a serial cheater, but in reality, he cannot bring himself to separate for the one and only: his wife! As confusing and contradictory as it seems: there are some men like this, sadly.
He might have said he’s not happy or told you a little story about how his marriage is falling apart, but don’t be tempted to sit in a corner and wait for him to separate. Chances are he’s just telling you little lies to get you to feel bad enough for him and open up to him or allow him to cheat on his spouse with you.
Unfortunately, there are men like this that can be very believable and manipulative. And, let’s go as far as to assume his marriage is truly falling apart, even in this case why would you wait for years only for him to reconcile with his spouse in the end? That’s always a possibility!
In fact, we recommend that you go ahead and tell him that he can contact you again only once he separates; and see what happens. We guarantee that you won’t see his face again, because he won’t separate from his wife and he’ll probably just look for someone more gullible than you.
In the end, we strongly recommend that you check this article on signs that a married man is using you. Maybe it will be the wake-up call you to need and with a little bit of tough love, you may come back stronger and more grateful to have gotten your life back soon enough!