Being insecure is not necessarily a bad personality trait. What is harmful is when we feel insecure and try to drag the people that are closest to us down with us.
If this sounds too familiar to you it’s probably because you have gotten involved with some insecure people in the past and you can’t figure out why this keeps happening. Look at this list and start with some suggestions that might help you find some answers.
5 reasons why you keep attracting insecure guys:
1. You view them as someone who needs love:
One of the main reasons why you attract insecure guys is because you can see even if it’s at a subconscious level that they are. in this case, you may be translating it as someone who will apreciate and enjoy your love and affection because of their lack of security and need for reassurance and support.
What may happen is that you believe that you are the one who is going to show him that they are worthy of being loved and this may lead you to believe that they will love you intensly in return.
However, as much as you would like to prove to him that he can be loved as a person, he can only start to believe that once he learns to love himself first. So don’t be surprised if you give yourself such a mission and see no differences in his behavior. He may act jealous from time to time because he won’t be able to believe that you do love him still.
2. You are too familiar with insecurities:
People tend to be attracted to those who are similar to themselves. in other words, if you have experienced dealing with insecurities most of your life it’s natural to be drwn to people that seem to have insecurities themselves.
This means that you are more inclined to feel attracted to those who are obviously insecure about something. You will quickly be able to spot such a familiar trait and because they see that you are available or you are open to approaching them, they will also inevitably feel attracted to you.
However, if you still didn’t learn to deal eith your insecurities them that’s the first step you should take before thinking about romantic relationships. if your insecurities are still heavily present, it won’t be beneficial to be in a relationship with someone who is also very insecure. If you do this, you probably won’t be able to be a good emotional support for your partner through their struggles.
3. You want to help someone’s hero:
Many people believe that if they care enough for someone, they will be able to change them into better people, and women are known to be especially keen on this.
Many women see insecure guys as a project or a mission that they want to gladly take charge of and turn him into a confident person. However, what usually happens is that they don’t have the right tools to deal with these insecurities and only cause more harm in the long run.
It’s normal to want to help the people we care about, and that’s not what we are trying to prevent. But, what you need to be mindful of is that you need to know your limits. Only someone who wants to change is capable of change and if that happens you can be of help to them but until they don’t make that decision themselves all your good intentions and efforts will be useless.
In this case, insecure guys feel attracted back to you because of this personality trait and your nurturing and kind soul. But, it’s not an indication that they want your help to improve themselves. All it could be is that they want to have someone who understands them instead and who they can rely on without necessarily feeling the need to work on themselves.
4. They see you as a very patient and tolerant person:
Not everyone is capable of being patient with someone’s insecurities. Many people feel annoyed when someone is incapable of doing something and they don’t understand why. In fact, many people can’t put themselves in another person’s shoes and understand that challenges are different for everyone depending on our confidence level.
If you are a patient and a very tolerant person naturally an insecure guy, we’ll spot that immediately. Being an insecure person, he already knows that there will be those who will judge him for his lack of motivation. So if he sees that you are someone who will tolerate his shortcomings, he’ll make a big effort to not let you go
5. You have the urge to be emotionally supportive for broken or insecure people:
Many people feel in their hearts that one of their purposes in life is to be there for others. They can only feel fulfilled if they know they changed someone for the better. Whether you are aware of it or not you may as well have this tendency which is not a bad trait to have at all. What’s bad is when someone sees that and takes advantage of it.
Whether it’s because you feel that you never had someone to play that role for you, or or you simply have seen too many injustices in the world and you can’t stay indifferent to them. In the end, whatever your reason is you should keep in mind that you should not be ready to literally sacrifice yourself just to fix another person.
Giving up your life for someone and giving yourself the lifelong mission to help them overcome their insecurities may not be worth it, especially if they are not the grateful and appreciative type. So be careful and stay vigilent so that you end up with someone who will be there for you just as much as you were there for them.