For people judging your relationship from the outside, it’s easy to wonder why you still didn’t leave your toxic partner.
However, you know better than that and you know that it’s easy to be persuaded when someone we love manipulates us. But this shouldn’t be all, you can leave him and be happier without him too. So keep on reading to see how leaving him will improve your life.
4 Reasons why letting him go is the right choice:
1- You think that love is enough but it’s not always the case:
You need to realize that just because there’s love, doesn’t justify toxicity, abuse, or even just the fact that you’re not fully happy.
One reason why people don’t get out of a toxic relationship the moment the first red flag appears is that they associate love with protection. They believe that because their partner told them that they love them unconditionally, there’s no way that the same person would hurt them. However, that’s exactly how most people get stuck in a toxic relationship.
If you feel that you can’t handle anymore being in a relationship with a specific someone, despite clearly remembering the times they told you they loved you, maybe you should take a step back to reflect on whether you should let them go or not. The key aspect to think about is not the fact that you still love them. You can’t control your feelings, so in situations like this when you have to make a rational decision, it’s best to set them aside.
You need to think about whether you feel loved despite all the things this person does, and if you do you need to decide if that’s enough to stay for.
If you conclude that love is not enough, that’s a clear sign that it’s time to let him go. Remember that you have a right to a fulfilling relationship, and not waste time only picking the nice moments to justify continuing to stay. There are many situations in which love alone is not enough, just check this article out later and see for yourself. Also, think about whether your relationship falls in that category.
2- Things will probably never change:
When you realize that you are in a toxic relationship, it’s normal for your first instinct to try to fix things instead of leaving. It’s normal to try to preserve the things we already have, but it’s not always healthy. In this case, the best thing you can do is let him go instead of forcing things to be different, which may be a huge waste of time and never happen.
Things will never change in a toxic relationship because your toxic partner is not unhappy with it: you are! They probably don’t want things to be different and aren’t capable of seeing why you would want anything to change.
In other words, it would be like talking to a brick wall. You should believe that you will be happy one day, you just have to understand that it won’t be with him by your side.
3- You deserve better:
For some people that are in a toxic relationship, they might start accepting the fact that the only way to have love in their life is if they endure pain alongside it.
Their view of interpersonal relationships starts to change and they no longer remember that a healthy relationship doesn’t involve pain. If you experienced a moment of clarity and have come to terms with the fact that you don’t need to suffer to be loved, then hold onto that feeling and preserve it.
Once you do that, you will feel almost as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders and it’s like colors seem brighter now. This is the first step you take towards happiness and the furthest you move away from such a relationship, the happier you will be.
4- If he does something bad and you stay, it will be like rewarding him:
When it comes to leaving your toxic relationship, it’s important not to hesitate. The reason why you need to appear strong in decisive moments such as this is that your partner will see you as weak. The more you stay after unforgivable acts they do, the more they’ll take it as a green light from you to allow them to do more harm.
It’s not that you are a weak person, it’s simply that toxic partners only see the weak side of a person and use it to their advantage. As such, if you hesitate for a moment about leaving him, he will detect it and try to use manipulation to persuade you to stay.
Your first reaction might be to feel flattered because you see his actions as a desperate way not to lose you. Maybe it’s the first time in your relationship, that you think he is fighting for you. But, in reality, he is fighting to keep you by his side so he can keep controlling you or so that he can keep having a punching bag if he emotionally abuses you.
If he says that you will never find someone that loves you more than him, or that you should be flattered that he chose to stay with you, use those taunts as more motives to let him go and not get stuck with him. Those verbal provocations are complete lies and you should regard them as such.