You have probably heard different dating advice throughout the years and many of them sound contradictory, but there’s always the same technique underlining each one of them.
We are talking about playing hard to get to make your crush pay attention to you and be more interested in you because of the allure you create around yourself, by being hard to please or impress.
The general idea is that people do this to make it look like pursuing them will be a thrilling challenge rather than a boring journey where we end up getting with them anyway. Some think that it can add a lot of spice to the courtship phase in the early dating stage. So is it true?
Why is everyone playing hard to get suddenly?
If you’re single and dating, you may have noticed that “playing hard to get” has become a pretty common strategy. Whether it’s pretending to be busy when you really aren’t or acting disinterested even though you’re dying to hear from them again, there are all sorts of ways to play it cool in the early stages of dating. But why has this become such a popular tactic?
One theory is that we now live in a culture of instant gratification, where we’re used to getting what we want right away. If we don’t get a response from our text right away, or if someone seems disinterested, it feels like a personal rejection.
As a result, we’ve become more and more likely to quickly give up on the idea of pursuing someone, unless we’re truly head-over-heels for them. That’s why some people use the strategy to filter out people that are just trying to lead them on and make them lose interest and move on.
Playing hard to get can almost always guarantee that only the person that really likes you a lot will stick around. Another possibility is that we’ve become more cynical about love and relationships, and so we’re more guarded in the early stages.
Whatever the reason, playing hard to get has become a pretty common dating strategy, but that doesn’t mean it’s always effective. In fact, sometimes it can just end up making things more complicated than they need to be. If you want to read more on why guys specifically play hard to get here are the 4 most common reasons to reflect on.
How to play hard to get in 4 easy steps?
Essentially, if you wish to play hard to get, you need to show that your time is precious and it’s not always easy to get a hold of you. However, this is not as easy as it sounds.
There are right ways of playing hard to get and there are things that are not advisable if you want to be successful in your mission.
1- Be playful:
Maybe you already do this when you are trying to captivate a new crush, but being hot and cold when you flirt is a great way of playing hard to get. When you see your crush in a group meeting, or when you get the chance to be with them alone, try your best to create a flirty tension between both of you and nothing else.
You can do this by setting a light mood in your conversations and never touching on serious topics, at least not at first. This will also help to surround yourself with mystery as you don’t have to share too many things about yourself.
You will only be conveying the idea that being around you is also a delightful experience and will leave your crush wanting more and even considering a first date, possibly.
2- Keep them on their toes:
By playing hard to get you will be showing that you are hard to predict and hard to keep up with. When you are with your crush, as much as you are enjoying your time with them, never let them know that you intend on seeing them again.
Merely suggest that you always feel better when they show up and you have the best of times when you are together. The idea is forcing your crush to finally ask you when can you be together again. When they try to set up a date: be vague at first, but never look bored while talking about it. You want them to ask you out again, but you don’t want them to know that you will easily accept.
You could try telling them to think of the best date you could have and let you know when they have decided. This will keep them busy thinking about you and what’s the best way to make you happy.
3- Finding the right balance is key:
Yes, people love the chase, they love being chased by someone they desire, and they love to chase someone when they suspect they are desired by them. However, no one wants to be chasing someone forever and never catch them. This means that you can’t play too hard to get, until they get bored. Check this article out later on what to do if you play hard to get more than you should and they lose interest.
It’s advisable to find the right dose when playing this game. You can guarantee that they don’t lose interest by giving your crush some rewards for the chase from time to time. These rewards could be responding eagerly to their advances, suggesting going out yourself or even you making the chase for a short while.
It can feel exhausting to keep chasing someone and never see the end of it. If your crush feels like this, likely, they will soon give up on you as they don’t believe that you are that interested in them after all. To avoid this, you need to balance things out and go after your crush instead from time to time. Hopefully, they will start seeing through your game which will only make things more exciting.
4- Don’t be available all the time:
People indeed say “Out of sight, out of mind”, but it’s also true that people say “We want what we can’t have”. It’s up to you to decide which ideal to take up. When you are constantly available to your crush it could lead them to think that you are easy to get, and they could get to you anytime they want.
The downside of this is that their interest in you could decrease since trying to catch your attention isn’t much of a challenge anymore. Plus, sometimes it’s good to give them some space and make room for them to miss you. Disappear for a few days and let them wonder where you are and what you are up to then make a new appearance when they expect to see you the least.
This will increase the allure that surrounds you and their desire to contact you, hopefully. Should you do this, once your crush gathers up the courage to contact you, you should reward them with your presence. If you don’t reward them, it will only confuse them and make them think that you don’t want anything with them after all.