It can be worrying and frustrating if your girlfriend has a guy friend who likes her or who’s in love with her. You may feel helpless and like there is nothing you can do about it.
After all, you don’t want to come across as insecure, possessive, or controlling. The last thing you’d want to do is to push your girlfriend right into the arms of her guy friend. That will be your worst nightmare coming true.
So how do you keep your cool and deal in a smart way with a similar situation? That’s exactly what we’ll help you figure out in this article.
What to do if your girlfriend has a guy friend who’s in love with her:
1- Have a serious talk with your girlfriend:
First, talk to your girlfriend about how you feel. Let her know that you are not comfortable with the situation and see what she says. If she is not willing to end the friendship, then you may have to accept that she is just friends with this guy.
However, you can still ask her to limit the amount of time she spends with him and not talk about personal things with him. It is also important to trust your girlfriend and to give her some space. If you try to control her too much, it could damage your relationship.
So this serious talk will be just to gauge how much she cares about this friend and if it will be wise to push her to end the friendship or if such a request will just lead to a big argument.
2- Put boundaries:
It can be tough when your significant other has a close friend of the opposite gender. You may start to feel like you’re being replaced or that your partner is interested in someone else. However, it’s important to remember that just because someone is attracted to your partner, doesn’t mean that they’re actually going to act on it.
If you’re feeling secure in your relationship, then you have to analyze the situation and see if there are valid reasons for such feelings or if you’re imagining the worst. So, if you’re feeling uneasy, and rightfully so, then it’s time to put some boundaries in place.
Let your partner know how you’re feeling and why you need her to fix things as soon as possible. Let her understand that you will be taking some space to assess your priorities and that she needs to do the same and decide what she cares most about.
If she’s worth her salt, she’ll understand and respect your wishes. In the same way, your girlfriend probably has boundaries and will feel very hurt if you crossed them, explain to hear what yours are. Tell her that you will not tolerate such behavior and that you consider it cheating if she’s entertaining someone who she knows has feelings for her.
3- Confront her about the reasons why she wants to keep such a friend:
Your girlfriend probably will not accept to hear such a thing but try to communicate calmly to her that you don’t understand her reasons for not wanting to let go of this friendship. If she cannot provide you with a good enough or satisfying reason then confront her with what you think.
Explain how anyone would feel uncomfortable or awkward being in a friendship where the other person has romantic feelings for them. Also gently tell her that the only logical reason you can think of for why she’s keeping this friend is that she’s seeking attention.
In this case, explain to her that having an attention-seeking partner can be difficult for you. Tell her that she has to evaluate the situation and be just in admitting what she’s putting you through. Also, make sure you tell her that she can get all the attention she needs from you but that you won’t accept that she seeks it outside of the relationship.
4- Try to trust your partner:
If your girlfriend has a guy friend who likes her, you may feel threatened or jealous. But it’s important that after having tried the steps above, you take a step back and try to trust your girlfriend and believe that she loves you.
If she’s telling you that there’s nothing going on between them, then you should try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s just a friend after all, who she trusts and feels comfortable talking to.
In any case, it’s always better to talk to your girlfriend about how you’re feeling instead of getting angry or upset. If she convinces you that it’s nothing serious or not a big deal then you can choose to simply trust her. If communication is open, then you’ll be able to handle anything that comes up.
Ultimately, trust is the most important ingredient in any relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, then it’s time to have a serious conversation about where things are going. But, if after all her attempts to convince you, you still feel uncomfortable with this friendship then you might want to learn to put your foot down in your relationship.
5- Have a chat with her friend:
You might feel like you’re being threatened when everything you try fails and your girlfriend doesn’t want to let go of her guy friend that has feelings for her. You might even feel like you have to compete for her attention.
In this case, the last and final step you can take in this situation is to talk to her friend and confront him about his feelings. If he’s a decent guy, he’ll be able to understand how you’re feeling and will back off. If he’s not willing to do that, then you would’ve tried all and left the ball at your girlfriend’s court.
Obviously doing this can be uncomfortable because the last thing you want is to get into a big fight with your girlfriend’s friend. So approach this as a normal conversation with him to defuse a difficult situation, rather than a heated confrontation. Who knows maybe your girlfriend was trying to make you a bit jealous and this guy is innocent of all the allegations she made.