It’s never easy to be on the receiving end of a breakup, but when it comes to being played, it can make it even harder. It’s important that you don’t let your emotions get the best of you during this time. Getting mad is not going to help anything.
It’s even harder to know how to react when someone plays you. It’s like they were playing games with your emotions and you have been blinded the entire time, until the very end. When someone plays you, they are not doing it just for fun. They obviously wanted something from you and they knew that the best way to get it is through your heart.
So how do you get back from having been played or used? How do you turn the tables on a player? How to handle a man who plays games? How to deal with a man that uses you or only used you? How to get over a guy who played you? And, how to play a guy at his own game?
What to say to a guy who used you & how to act:
1- Did he play you or you just think he did:
It is important to understand that there are cases when a man might simply not know what he wants. This is not to say that it’s a good thing. You probably don’t want to get involved with someone who’s confused, lost, or didn’t find himself an identity yet, anyway.
So, keep in mind that some men are genuinely just emotionally immature, emotionally unintelligent or simply don’t have a clue about what they want. They don’t mean to play anyone nor do they mean evil or bad upon others, they just cannot help but be horrible dates and bad partners.
If this is the case, the person you’ve been with may not have tried to play you or use you, on purpose. You might just have met them in a bad period of their life where they’re not sure what they’re doing, what they want, and where they’re at. So it is important to not take it personally and get caught up in your emotions if that’s what happened.
That’s why before you cry for a week over having been played, make sure you know that that’s exactly what happened to you. Make sure you didn’t misunderstand, miscalculate or miss something.
2- Find out why he did it:
Now that you understand that you will not make any assumption, and only proceed to the next steps if he truly and sincerely played you, let’s proceed.
The second thing that you should do is to figure out the reason why he played you. This will help you decide on how to react and what to say. There are four reasons why men may play women. Either they want something from them, they want attention, they want to test how good they are or they just want to see how far they can go before being caught.
1- He wanted something from you:
If all he wanted is to obtain something from you, then he’ll probably be long gone by now and even almost forgotten about you, already. In this case, we recommend you forget about him too after having learned whatever lesson he taught you.
You can also sue him or inform your legal authorities about him if he robbed you of something materialistic of big value. If he just fooled you to get closer to you or more physical, then it will teach you a lesson about who you let in and how much time you’ll take before you trust someone in that way, in the future.
2- He wants attention:
The best way to get back at someone who did it all just for attention is to ruin his plans. If he did it all just to gain attention or to show off, flex, and show all his mates what type of a player he is, then expose his truth online. You can choose to expose him on social media on his favorite app or platform repetitively so that other girls don’t fall for his games.
Or, you can choose to even tell everyone a version of the event that portrays him as the biggest loser alive. Nobody will know who to believe, there will be your word against his and it will teach him a lesson, it will also hurt his ego a bit. But, isn’t it well-deserved after all?
For instance, if he played you and made you feel bad and heartbroken, create a version of events where you were the one that dumped him. Unless he has evidence and proof that supports and confirms exactly how things happened, all he can do is contradict you and all others can do is choose who to believe.
Be careful, that he’s not an insane, unstable, or deranged person as this type of provocation could rub some guys with massive egos the wrong way and he might end up wanting to come after you for it.
3- He wanted to test his seduction skills:
some people can be sick like this, unfortunately. They can go out of their way to lead on, date, use, and play others only to make a point that they’re capable of doing it.
If you happen to have met an arrogant enough person that did whatever they did, simply to feel satisfied and impressed with what good of a manipulator, or player they are, then we apologize on their behalf for this horrible experience.
However, what you can do with someone like this is make them doubt themselves and doubt their skills. Make it a point to move on quickly after them and act completely unaffected. If you get the chance, laugh at their face and tell them that they were the ones getting played rather than you, “if only they waited long enough to see what you were in it for”.
This will confuse them and give them many sleepless nights where they will be intrigued by you and by what you meant. They will also be shocked to learn that they’re not that good after all.
4- He wanted to see how far he can go without getting caught:
This is another crazy excuse as to why anyone who harms a person they were dating or going out with. Unfortunately, it does happen more often than you’d think.
Some people just want to see how far they can get, how much they can fool you, how many things they can squeeze out of you, and how many times they can get forgiven by you before they get caught for real. And, the best way to deal with someone like this is simply not to deal with them at all.
They are already as deranged as can be, they have too much time on their hand and spending even one extra minute on a person like this is obviously not worth it at all. They could end up manipulating you more and getting with you again only to waste a couple more months if not years of your life on nothing.
3- Learn your lesson:
The first thing you should do after realizing having been played is to make sure that you get yourself out of that situation. It’s not just about the guy who played you, it can be about other people in your life too. You should think about what you need to change in order for this kind of thing not to happen again.
You should know that there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally and without any expectations, who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and who will never play games with your heart and mind again.
However, for this person to be able to find you, you have to be smart and know how to quickly filter out and eliminate the next player, user, or manipulator you meet. You don’t have time to waste. So when you see a pattern or a few first red flags coming up, run for your life, choose yourself, and do not spend time or energy on another bad apple.
4- Confront him and stand up for yourself:
If you want to confront him, it is important that you do not sound too soft, undecisive, hesitant, or shy. You should be firm, but try to avoid having an anger outburst. It’s never easy to confront someone who has hurt you. But, it’s also necessary if you want to get over the situation and move on with your life.
You should confront him but be prepared for the worst. He might not apologize or take responsibility for his actions. He might even blame you for what happened and tell you that he is only sorry that he got caught.
Even if he said he’s sorry or acted miserable, be ready to surrender. There are many reasons why a guy would play a girl, but they all boil down to one thing: he doesn’t respect her enough to treat her right. So don’t take any of his excuses or lies.
5- Move on and live life large:
The first step to getting over a guy who played you when it comes to actions is to show him that he doesn’t matter and that he didn’t get to you. You should live life large, have fun like there’s no tomorrow, surround yourself with good friendships and love, and get a makeover.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s not your fault that what happened happened. He should have been upfront about his intentions and you would’ve been able to make an informed decision about him.
Some people are really good at playing the game of love and the one of deception too. They know how to be charming, witty, and thoughtful. They might not be great at getting away with it all by making you feel special, but they sure know how to make you feel bad about yourself too.