It happens to the best of us. You find yourself married to someone with whom you have absolutely nothing in common. At first, it doesn’t seem like a big deal. After all, you love each other, so who needs shared interests?
However, over time, the lack of common ground can begin to take its toll. You may find yourself feeling bored and restless, while your spouse seems content to just watch TV all night. If this sounds familiar, don’t despair.
There are plenty of ways to connect with your spouse, even if you don’t share any hobbies or interests.
5 steps to take when your spouse and you have nothing in common:
1- Talk more while doing things together:
One approach is to find activities that you can do together while enjoying conversations and learning more about each other’s thinking processes. The more we talk to someone the more we learn to understand how they see things and how they perceive the world. This can eventually help us relate with them and adopt their approach or thinking sometimes, which will naturally make us develop a common philosophy of life over time.
So try to talk more and explore your spouse’s mind and their thinking more, with a positive attitude and openness. For example, you could take a walk around the block or go for a bike ride while chatting. Or, if you prefer something more low-key, you could cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie together while commenting on it. You can also use any time you have together to talk about different topics and not just how your day went.
This will ensure you can make time for regular conversations and stay connected emotionally, despite not having much in common. It can be a great way to catch up on each other’s day-to-day lives and share what’s going on in your head, but discussing any and every topic can be fruitful too. Plus, it’s a chance to really listen to what your partner has to say and learn something new about them.
2- Try something new together:
Another way to bridge the gap is to try something new together. In fact, if you and your husband find yourselves having nothing in common, it can be a real challenge to keep things interesting. So one thing you can do is to experiment together with new activities.
If you try doing things together that you have never experimented with before, you could end up both enjoying it. This could lead the two of you to find out about something you have in common, after all.
This could be anything from taking a cooking class to going on a hike or even learning how to knit. By doing something new, you’ll have the opportunity to learn about each other in a different light. Plus, it’ll give you something to talk about other than the usual day-to-day stuff. You may just find that you have more in common than you thought!
Spending time together doing something, you may end up both enjoying, is a great way to connect on a deeper level. By doing this, you’ll also learn to work as a team. Whatever you do, make sure to keep communication open and honest. Talking about your feelings and experiences is a crucial part of any relationship, and it will help you feel closer to your husband even if you don’t have much in common.
3- Find a shared common ground:
It can feel like you’re total opposites, and it’s hard to find things to talk about. If this is the case, it’s important to find something that you can both enjoy doing together. It doesn’t have to be anything major; it could be something as simple as taking walks together or learning to cook a new dish.
Indeed, this will help you find a common ground, regardless of how small it is. Maybe there’s a TV show that you both like or a book that you can read together. If you’re both into sports, you can go to sports events together or watch competitions on TV. Whatever it is, the important thing is to keep trying. With a little effort, you’ll eventually find something that you and your husband can enjoy together.
If not, you can also learn to compromise and do something that your spouse likes more than you do with them. Then they’ll have to do something for you too in return. For example, if you love cooking but your husband hates it, you can still cook in your husband’s presence while he does the dishes. Or, you can cook while he just sits on his laptop in the kitchen and keeps you company.
Whatever you do, remember that communication and compromise are key to keeping your relationship strong. The important thing is that you take the time to find something that brings you both joy. Once you’ve found a shared activity you both like, you’ll start to feel closer to your husband and more connected in your relationship.
4- Find beauty in your difference:
Different doesn’t have to mean bad. In fact, often times it can be quite the opposite. Embrace the things that make you and your partner unique. It’s the differences that can make a relationship interesting, exciting, and thrilling.
If you find that you and your husband have absolutely nothing in common, you can use it as an opportunity to explore each other. Be curious about his hobbies and interests. What is it that he loves so much about them? And why?
And who knows, you may find yourself enjoying them too while learning more and more about his reasons for having these specific hobbies. So take the time to learn about each other and find beauty in diversity.
5- Plan a vacation together:
Another thing you can do if your husband and you have nothing in common is going on vacation together. This will give you a chance to spend some quality time together without any distractions.
You can also use this time to try new things and explore different interests. who knows, maybe you’ll find something you both enjoy! Either way, it’s a great way to connect with your husband and create some lasting memories.
Pick somewhere exotic that neither of you has been to before. This will give you both the opportunity to experience new cultures, try new food, and explore new surroundings. If you can find something that you’re both interested in, it will help to create common ground between you and your husband.
However, even if you don’t agree on a place to travel to, look at your budget and narrow down your options and what you can afford until you single out one destination. Simply spending time together in a new place can help to reignite the spark in your relationship.
Bottom line:
If you and your husband find yourselves with little in common, don’t panic! It’s perfectly normal for couples to grow and change over time, and sometimes that can mean growing apart from each other. If you fear that’s your case, then we have a solution for that too! Check this article out on what to do when you grow apart from your partner.
In the end, there are still plenty of ways to connect with your spouse, even if you don’t share the same interests. You just both have to be willing to!