So you’ve been feeling like a burden to your boyfriend lately? You probably know that it’s not normal, but you still can’t shake the feeling. It’s not like he’s ever said anything to make you feel this way; in fact, he must always be super supportive. So what is the reason or reasons you can’t help but feel guilty and ashamed?
So what is it that literally makes you feel like a burden to your boyfriend and how to stop feeling that way? Is it something about the relationship? Is it something going on in your life that I’m not aware of? Or is it just you? Either way, you know you need to figure it out and we’re here to help you do just that!
Why are you feeling like a burden to your boyfriend?
1- You’re just feeling overwhelmed:
There are a number of reasons why you may be feeling like a burden to your boyfriend. Perhaps you’re going through a tough time at work or in your personal life and you’re feeling overwhelmed. When we feel overwhelmed, we start to feel like we can’t keep up with the pace that everything else is going at.
This can make you try to find the culprit and imagine flaws in people around you or in your relationship. In other words, you’re out for blood! You’re looking for someone or something to blame for your stress. And if you’re too just and rational to just point the finger at an innocent boyfriend you might just accuse your own self of being a burden in your relationship. You might think nothing you do is ever good enough and start having a low mood about it all.
It’s very common for people that are under stress to start scrutinizing their relationships for no reason and looking for bad things that aren’t there. Whatever your case may be, it’s important to communicate with your boyfriend about how you’re feeling. He might not even realize that you’re feeling this way, so open communication will help to resolve any issues.
2- You contribute less to the relationship:
Alternatively, you may simply feel like you’re not doing enough to contribute to the relationship. It’s important to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend and to let him know that you appreciate his support. Especially if you think that he’s doing a lot more than you for the relationship.
It’s also important to remember that relationships are built on give-and-take. If you’re feeling like you’re carrying the majority of the load, talk to your boyfriend about ways that he can help out more. But, if he’s the one doing the most then be grateful, thank him and put a smile of appreciation on your face rather than be sad and miserable when he sees you.
Maybe that will be more than enough for him and it will keep him going and doing more. Did you even consider how much it could be making him happy to attend to your needs and wants? Did he ever complain to you or say one bad thing about it anyway?
If you reply “yes” to that last question, then try to figure a way to balance things out urgently and give him a break. If the answer was “no” then don’t be so negative and try to be happy while you take your time to figure something out that will make you feel less guilty.
Finally, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and be appreciative of the support that your boyfriend provides.
3- You might be in need of a little reassurance:
Some people like to blow their own horn a little and tell everyone how amazing they are. Others like to do the opposite and say that they’re not good enough or that they’re even horrible in some way then secretly wait for others to throw a sea of compliments at them in an attempt to make them feel better about themselves. So, we guess you can see where we’re going with this!
Maybe you’re not truly feeling like a burden but just need your boyfriend to reassure you a little and say how amazing you are. Maybe you just need him to acknowledge your value and reassure you that you’re in fact the opposite of a burden to him. In fact, you might not even want to admit the truth to yourself and deny that you’re just fishing for compliments and specifically your boyfriend’s compliments.
However, the truth is that there’s nothing wrong with wanting a little reassurance and even attention in a relationship. Maybe your boyfriend is already doing so much and going out of his way to make you happy. But, that will still not be enough and will make you feel guilty sometimes unless he comes at you hugs you, kiss you and remind you often of how happy he is to do it all.
This might sound like too much to ask for but it is normal to expect and want more attention or even just reassurance in your relationship so don’t shy away from it. You can check this article out later on how to get a little more attention from your partner. Or you can even take a look at this one on the importance of reassurance in a relationship and why it shouldn’t be neglected.
4- You’re always too exhausted or lazy to do things with him or for him:
One reason why you could be feeling like a burden is if your partner is always the one who’s initiating plans and you’re the one who’s always canceling them because you’re just feeling exhausted. In this case, it’s important to communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling and try to understand why you’re not motivated enough to do things together.
If you’re too tired to do things or make things spicy, it’s easy to feel like you’re just dragging him down. One way to snap out of this is to remember how much your relationship and partner’s happiness matter, and not overthink the activities they want to do with you. Once they suggest something, get on your feet, and start getting ready without overthinking things unnecessarily.
Focus on what will make you happy about doing that outing or about obliging and how happy it can make your man. When you start to focus on the positive qualities that come with coming closer as a couple, you’ll start to feel better about wanting to do things together and make each other feel precious and valued.
If you’re feeling like a burden to your boyfriend, chances are he is picking up on that and it’s causing him stress too. Talk to your partner about what you’re feeling and see if there’s anything they can do to help ease your anxiety or worries. Chances are, they’ll be more than happy to help out.