People usually think that breaking up with someone means that something is wrong, but that’s not always the case. However, sometimes people just realize that they’re not compatible, or that they want different things out of life.
And that’s okay! Just because one of you or both of you decide not to stay together doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with either of you. It can be tough to go through a break-up, but it’s important to remember that it has to be justified to be valid.
Life is all about trial and error, and sometimes relationships just don’t work out. So if you find yourself single again, out of choice, and for no specific and clear reason!
Breakups don’t have to be justified:
It’s a common misconception that all breakups have to come from a nasty argument or have a specific reason. Oftentimes, people just grow apart and realize that they’re no longer compatible. And that’s perfectly okay.
It doesn’t mean that either person is at fault; it’s just a natural part of life. Sometimes, people change and their relationship changes with them. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just accept it for what it is and move on. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been.
5 Reasons why an unjustified break-up is better than an ugly messy one:
1- You can stay friends:
For one, you can stay friends. This might not be possible in every situation, but if it is, it’s worth considering. Keeping the friendship means you can still have almost all the good parts of the relationship without the bad.
You don’t have to worry about who said what or who did what; because you don’t have as many expectations from a simple friend as you do from a partner. This means that you can just focus on being friends.
2- You can learn from them:
Another reason breakups don’t have to be so extreme, ugly, and justified by a big fight is that you can learn from them. Every relationship teaches us something about ourselves, and a breakup can teach us more.
A not-so-justified breakup may mean that you will know what you’re looking for because you know you were not fulfilled in that relationship. It may also teach you more about your personality, wants, needs, dislikes. But most importantly it will teach you to stand up for yourself and walk away when you’re simply not happy, which can be very powerful.
In fact, we should only ever look at breakups, in general, as an opportunity to learn what you want and don’t want in a partner. As long as you approach it with that mindset, a breakup can be a positive experience and will never hurt so much anymore.
3- It doesn’t have to be permanent:
Also, a friendly consensual breakup doesn’t have to be permanent. If you do decide to stay friends, great! But even if you don’t, there’s nothing saying you can’t get back together down the road.
Maybe you’re not ready in this phase or chapter in your life to commit fully, but this doesn’t mean you will still not be in a year or two. Indeed, sometimes people just need some time apart to realize how good they had it.
4- They’re a chance for you to be happy again and be yourself without fears:
Breakups can give you the chance to focus on your own happiness. This is an opportunity to pursue your hobbies and interests, spend time with your friends, and really focus on taking care of yourself.
Of course, not every breakup will be amicable. But it’s worth trying to make things as civil as possible, especially when you’re breaking up because you simply don’t find the relationship fulfilling or rewarding anymore.
In this case, there’s no reason to create excuses like “it’s me, not you” and other generic ones often used in these scenarios. If you do your partner may look through it and even suspect that there’s a more sinister reason behind it all.
So maybe just sit them down, be honest and tell them that you’re just no longer happy. This can be better than breaking up after an ugly altercation or fight or a long relationship of abuse. Not everyone needs every justification under the sun to even dare say that they want something different from themselves.
So try being honest and positive about it. After all, there’s no need to make an already difficult situation any worse than it has to be.
5- They teach you to appreciate your future relationships more:
Finally, going through a breakup can help you to appreciate future relationships even more.
As we said, breakups that don’t have a clear explanation are also valid. Sometimes people grow apart and change in ways that make it difficult to continue a relationship. Other times, people might realize that they’re not ready for a committed relationship.
While it’s never fun to go through a breakup, these kinds of breakups can help you to appreciate future relationships that you find more fulfilling and that you’re staying in by choice. You will know for a fact that you can walk away at any moment, it’s not like you haven’t done it in the past, but if you’re staying it will surely be because you’re appreciating every day that you get to be that someone special’s partner.
After weathering the storm of a breakup, you’ll be able to see your next relationship in a whole new light. So, although unjustified breakups are not easy either, they don’t have to be negative experiences. In the end, if you’re in the process of healing from a breakup then we recommend you check this article out.