If your ex is being mean to you, even though he’s the one who broke up with you, you’re probably feeling puzzled and confused about it all. It can be really frustrating, especially if you already had a break-up that was triggered by him and that you didn’t even see coming.
In any case, you were the one who was broken up with so you find yourself baffled by how many negative feelings toward you he had bottled up. It’s tempting to want to retaliate and give him a taste of his own medicine, but that usually just makes things worse. Instead, try to stay calm and respectful. And more importantly, try to understand what is happening and why it’s happening.
This way you can regain control and decide where you want to take things from here. After all, that’s exactly what we will be helping you to do with this article so stick around and find out why your ex is being so hurtful if he’s the one who broke up with you!
He broke up with me, so why is he the angry one?
There are a few possible explanations for why your ex is being so mean. So let’s explore a few possibilities and let you decide which one fits your situation the most:
1- He’s feeling guilty:
He might be feeling guilty. If that’s the case, then he must know that he hurt you and he doesn’t want to face up to what he did, so he’s taking it out on you. Instead of getting angry or upset, try to be understanding.
After all, he’s going through a tough time too. If you can be patient and understanding, and if he’s truly just guilty about having made a rash break-up decision then he will eventually come around and realize it was a mistake. At that point, maybe you can choose to stand up for yourself and let him know that you decided that you deserve better than someone who cannot see your worth the first time around.
Either way, try to stay composed at least you’ll know you handled the situation in the best way possible. Maybe he’s feeling guilty about breaking up with you and is taking out his frustration on you.
2- He’s hurt that you didn’t fight for him more:
Another possible explanation is that he could be hoping that by being mean, you’d see that he’s upset that you didn’t try harder or fight for your love more; when he tried to end things.
In this case, he’s probably just hurt that you didn’t fight hard for him not to break up with you. He’s probably regretting his decision and is trying to lash out at you because he’s blaming you for not having reversed the situation somehow by dissuading him from breaking up.
But, don’t let that get to you: you were most definitely not going to beg on your knees when someone wanted to leave you anyway and get rid of you. And rest assured: even if you fought and convinced him to stay, he would’ve probably thought you have no dignity and treated you bad after that anyway.
So now, just ignore him, and eventually, he’ll realize that he made a mistake if that’s truly the case and he’ll come crawling back to you. Or at worst he’ll erupt at your face about how it was your fault the break-up happened and he will say that it wasn’t what he wished for.
In any case, if that happens let him know that his guilt won’t get him anywhere especially if he keeps lashing out at you. But you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it, until then just focus on yourself and your own happiness. Don’t let him ruin your life just because he’s unhappy with his own decisions and remorse.
3- He’s trying to convince himself you’re horrible & that he made the right decision:
It’s also possible that he’s just trying to protect himself from getting hurt more by pushing you away. And in this case, being mean helps him pretend and convince himself first before anyone else that he truly stopped caring about you and that he made the right decision by dumping you.
So the more he sees you the more he feels uncomfortable and the more his brain tries to emphasize your flaws and imaginary imperfections to comfort himself about having broken up with you. He wants to paint you as a villain and horrible person so anything you do will piss him off and look bad.
He is just trying to tell his brain that you were indeed bad news and that he should regret having made the decision he made. If you weren’t the one who wanted things to end, but he is making it seem like it was all your fault then it arranges him to make you look so flawed. Don’t be surprised if he has even gone so far as to tell all your mutual friends what a terrible person you are.
Maybe he’s just trying to convince himself that breaking up with you was the right decision. This could be frustrating if you didn’t do anything wrong, and you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Hopefully, he’ll come to his senses soon and realize that if anything he should be apologizing to you, not the other way around.
What to do when your ex who broke up with you, is being mean for no reason?
If your ex is being difficult to deal with for no absolute logical reason, when they’re the one who ended things anyway then it’s better just to ignore them. Check this article out on how you can ignore your ex who dumped you if you’re having trouble knowing how to act around them.
Show him that you’re better than he is by not stooping to his level. Keep in mind that he’s probably just acting out because he’s feeling insecure and wants to make himself feel better or for one of the petty reasons listed earlier. So, even though it might be hard, try to have some sympathy for him.
In the end, it’s up to him to decide whether he wants to be a decent human being or not. But regardless of what he does, you’ll be better off if you don’t stoop to his level and learn to ignore his rudeness. Also, try to take yourself somewhere safer and more welcoming and somewhere where you’ll be more valued and respected.
Bottom line:
Whatever the reason is for your ex being mean, it’s important to remember that you don’t deserve to be treated this way. If your ex is truly the one who broke up with you, then he should leave you alone now.
He should get busy rather than try to come and abuse you more as if it wasn’t enough that you got dumped like it’s nothing. If anything, he should be apologetic and polite, not the other way around.
So don’t let him get away with being mean; stand up for yourself and let your ex know that their behavior is unacceptable.